• time flies and flies sting

    There are so many things that I intend to post here… pictures, recipes, various rants. Unfortunately, I have little time left at the end of each day. Today, my to-do list had 16 tasks. Sixteen! I am proud that I accomplished 15 of them. Sorry, Teddy… I promise I will feed you tomorrow. (Teddy is our “pet squirrel”… there is actually a yard full of squirrels, but Wells calls them all Teddy.) We went to the beach in September for SK’s birthday. I had planned to post pictures when we got home, but it never happened. Now, two three months later, I have time to do so. Let’s hope the Blog Board doesn’t issue demerits.

    We went back to Grayton Beach because we had such a wonderful time last year. Thanks to Hurricane Issac, the water wasn’t quite as pretty this year. And it rained. And there were stinging flies (we’ll discuss that later).

    We toured the Coastal Living house in Rosemary Beach, and it was amazing. We were totally going to buy it (in my dreams), but someone beat us to it. For whatever reason, we decided it would be okay for Graham to go inside. As we were looking at the master bathroom, he hit the button to turn on the shower (while standing in it). It was so high tech, we couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. Good times. Needless to say, he did not finish the tour. Erika and the team from Urban Grace did a fantastic job on the interior design. Everything was stunning…

    crime scene
    One of my favorite rooms…
    Wells’ favorite room…
    and the pool wasn’t too shabby

    We also gave SK a beach birthday party. He doesn’t really like cake, but how can you have a party without one?

    Nothing beats a Pepperidge Farm frozen vanilla cake. Seriously. They are delish.

    The day before we came home, the flies had gotten so bad that we couldn’t even stay at the beach. There were thousands of them swarming around and biting every chance they got. I’ve never seen anything like it, y’all. I kept waiting for the locusts and other plagues to arrive. Graham and Wells stuck it out for a while, but eventually had to retreat.

    make them stop
    under cover

    We finally made a break for the car, but so many were on and around SK that he volunteered to walk back. Bless him.

    Of course, the day we had to leave was gorgeous…

    Despite the negatives, we had a great time. And can you believe that Graham didn’t ask “how much longer until we are home?”

    Not even once.

  • A Christmas Letter…

    Dear Christmas,

    Hello, old pal. I hope you are well. Judging from the number of catalogs I’ve received on your behalf, you are just grand. That’s actually what I’m writing to you about. No disrespect, but can you simmer down a little? Each year, you inch more and more into my territory, and I let it slide. But this year, you’ve gone too far. Target Christmas commercials in October? Holiday cards in the mail before Turkey day? Thanksgiving decor on clearance before Halloween? What is the deal? I know it isn’t entirely your fault. Starbucks is equally to blame. They break out the red cups November 1st, and after one sip of their egg nog lattes, people lose their dang minds.

    Do you realize the number of people who already have their Christmas trees up… And have for weeks? I get it, I get it… Your decorations are prettier than mine and people want to enjoy them longer. But, would you mind asking people to hold off on their outdoor lights? I really don’t want to see that twelve foot inflatable Santa in your yard before black Friday, Clark Griswold. Speaking of, they’re not even “day after Thanksgiving sales” anymore? Well played, Christmas, well played.

    I know I seem bitter, but this isn’t just about me. Kids are really confused. Santa is in the mall before the Halloween sugar high wears off. Ho, ho, holdup. The other day I overheard a little boy talking about baby Jesus being born on Plymouth Rock. Unacceptable. What happened to giving thanks for all that we have before we begin our Christmas wish lists?

    I love you, I really do, but you need an intervention. You’ve gotten too big; too full of yourself. You let Santa get you hooked on commercialism and have lost your true meaning. I’ve spoken with the other holidays, and they feel the same way. Get it together, man.

    Many thanks,
    Thanksgiving

    p.s. I admit I may have already listened to your music. This is only acceptable because I have none of my own.

  • In case you think I’m not weird…

    The older you get, the more you realize your “quirks.” I have quite a few. One of my favorite quotes is, “The only normal people you know are the ones you don’t know very well.” Makes me feel better about myself, because I am weird. A few examples…

    I call my parents every day. Every. Single. Day. Multiple times. They rarely call me. They don’t have to because I beat them to it. I really did not know this was odd until someone told me that most people talk to their folks once a week, max. Wells and Graham better not be “most people.”

    I have an unusually high belly button. Find your belly button. Mine is five inches above yours. If I wear a deep V neck, you can see it. Kidding. Sort of.

    I hate to stand on bathmats. They give me the willies.

    I have to clear microwaves with remaining time on the display. I think it is bad luck for it to be there. We have two microwaves in the break room at work. I am constantly clearing.

    Speaking of “bad luck,” I also have the following superstitions courtesy of Dixie.

    • No one can step over me. If I am lying on the floor and someone does, they have to step back over me to “undo” it. No one in my presence is allowed to step over someone either.

    • I have to touch a button every time I see a hearse. Hopefully, I have one on my outfit, but if not, a dashboard button will do.

    • I cannot walk with one shoe on and one shoe off. Every step is additional bad luck. That adds up fast, people.

    • I cannot wash clothes on New Year’s Day. This one is serious. Dixie calls me two days before and tells me to make sure we have clean underwear and towels. One year, just to mess with her, I told her I forgot and washed a load of whites. She nearly had a heart attack.

    • I have to touch the outside of the plane before flying. (This one is not Dixie’s doing… I came up with this doozie myself.) I also make my kids touch the exterior while boarding. I’m sure people think we are nuts. Guess what? We are.

    I am an extremely sound sleeper. I can sleep through anything. Alarm? Check. Tornado Siren and severe weather? Check. Babies Crying? Check and check. I am also quite fond of sleep and do not like to be awakened in the mornings. I set multiple alarms, but I still don’t wake up. They go off forever (according to SK), and then I hit snooze and we repeat 10 minutes later. My sweet roommate in college (Hi, Beth, I miss you!) can attest to this craziness. I finally wake up when SK brings me coffee and threatens to dump cold water on me. Poor guy did not know what he was signing up for when we got married.

    I sing in the car. I know what you are thinking… that isn’t strange, Wowie. No? I have karaoke tracks on my iPod and basically perform a mini concert between my house and my office. There is choreography. There may be a pretend microphone. There are definitely some confused motorists.

    I am not on Facebook. I have a blog, am on Instagram and Pinterest and make an occasional observation on Twitter. But, I am anti-Facebook. I don’t think this is strange but everyone else on the face of the Earth does, so it made the list.

    This by no means is a complete list, but I don’t want to give away all my secrets. You get the picture.


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