I don’t know about y’all, but I’m ready to start complaining about how hot it is. I can’t wait for that golden week in between the pollen and mosquitos when we enjoy the great outdoors. After that, we spend a lot of time on the screened porch. Last summer, I committed to having new cushions and pillows made for our outdoor furniture. It would have been easier to have myself committed. Why is it so hard to choose fabric? I didn’t have any problem picking it out for the cushions we’ve had for ten years. There must be more choices now. Oh, and Pinterest. Ugh.
Here are the current ones…
I wouldn’t even replace them except they decided to up and mold. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t use outdoor fabric. Here are five outdoor spaces that I really like.
1. The White Stripes
2. Green the Screen
3. Naughty Nautical
(It’s not really naughty)
4. Gettin’ Figgy With It
5. Mississippi Hippie
Just noticed that most of those have rattan chairs. Lucky for us, we have a few lying around.
So now… the vote. Which is your favorite? Should I paint the wicker white? Help an indecisive sister out. Also, if you have any indoor/outdoor fabric recommendations, please share. Or just do it for me. Afterward, we will lounge on your super cool cushions, drink mojitos and talk about how awesome you are.
It takes a village.
Don’t forget to check out all the Five on Friday posts over at A. Liz Adventures.
I hope you all had a happy (cough, cough) Valentine’s Day. I sure did. No chocolate or red roses in sight. Whew.
1. Perfumes for Spring
Sephora always gets me with their “triple points” on fragrance purchases promotion. Who can say no to triple points?
Not me, not I.
I picked up the new Tory Burch perfume and it smells delicious. It is a tad heavy on the floral, so don’t use too much. Or do if you want your fragrance sensitive coworkers to sniff and sneeze all day. Nothing like a little office drama.
I also ordered Fresh Life because, THE POINTS. I got a rollerball to keep in my purse. Rollerball sounds so Boogie Nights. Makes me want to wear leg warmers and change my name to Rollergirl. Anyway, Life smells so fresh and so clean and I love it. Every time I say I “love” something, Wells and G respond, “Well why don’t you marry it?”
I would if it asked.
ps- The Tory Burch also comes in a rollerball if you want to test the waters before you dive in. Also, Saks and Neiman Marcus currently have a free gift with beauty or fragrance purchases. Did someone say tote bag filled with samples I’ll never use? Sign me up.
Y’all. This stuff is good. I’m not really a lotion person, but this BB cream is different. Your skin instantly soaks it up and it smells great. It is slightly tinted (not glittery), but doesn’t come off on your clothes. It is just what my super pale, ashy skin has been hoping for.
3. Batiste Blond
Y’all know I can’t go two days without my dry shampoo. It is right up there with sliced bread and K cups. Batiste Blond is great for covering the roots until you can have them taken care of. Not that my hair isn’t naturally blond.
Okay. It isn’t.
But it used to be.
4. Tobacco Leaf Tin Plates
Just ordered some of these plates from Furbish. They bear a striking resemblance to one of my favorite china patterns, Mottahedeh Tobacco Leaf. The only difference is they cost about $130 dollars less and are shatter resistant. I can only imagine the amount of sedatives one would require after breaking the real thing. That is why I admire from afar, far away.
These will be great for outdoor dining when it warms up. No Xanax necessary.
I am linking up with April and the gang for Five on Friday. Although I only have four. Let’s count the perfumes as two and call it even.
Valentine’s Day should be renamed “Women are Crazy Day,” or “No Matter What You Do We Will Not Be Satisfied Day.”
Don’t get mad, ladies. You know it is true. He asks what you’d like for Valentine’s Day; to which you respond, “nothing.” And you mean it. Nothing he can give you will be enough on this most special of occasions.
Expectations are outrageous. Unattainable. I blame this (along with the majority of the World’s problems) on Pinterest. The following gifts would be well received on any other day… but not today.
Balloons
What? Am I five? Are you a clown? Yes. You are an A** Clown.
Candy
Thanks for running by the CVS on your way home. I was just telling my friends at work how I. AM. OBSESSED. with Whitman’s Samplers. Did you happen to pick up a gallon of milk too, because we can actually use that. No? That’s okay. After I give the kids a bath and put them to bed I will run out and get some. And never come back.
Gift Certificate – Facial
As if I wasn’t self-conscience enough about my skin. Thanks for pointing out my flaws on Valentine’s Day. OH! It is for an anti-aging facial. You know what else is anti-aging? Suicide.
Gift Certificate – Massage
I remember when you used to give me massages. Thanks for paying a stranger to touch me.
Homemade Gift Certificate – Massage
A “love coupon” that entitles me to a massage? Thanks for giving me something that is free. Why don’t you also throw in some coupons for speech? Or maybe oxygen?
Day at the Spa
An entire day at the spa? You must really hate spending time with me. Actually, you must just really hate me.
Clothes – Too small
Seriously? You think I’m a size four? You just wish I was a size four. Maybe you should just give me a lap band instead.
Thanks for pointing out that I am fat.
Clothes – Too large
Seriously? You think I am a size ten? You described me to the 19 year old sales girl at Hollister, and this is what she suggested?
Thanks for pointing out that I am fat.
Workout clothes/Running shoes
Why don’t you just give me a card that says “You need to park your double-wide at the gym.” I’m going to eat my feelings.
Flowers – Delivered to the office
Thanks for sending me roses once a year. Just think… for what you spent, you could have sent me 10 non-valentine bouquets on any other day. But, I did feel special. Along with every other woman at my office. You know who got the same arrangement as me? The intern. From her grandmother.
Flowers- At home
Looks like someone has been to the Walmarts. I was the only woman at my office who didn’t get flowers today. Guess you couldn’t splurge for the delivery fee. I hope you at least picked up some milk.
Dinner – Out
I love eating dinner at five or eleven p.m. Way to wait until the last minute to make a reservation. Hopefully, you called ahead to have the waiter bring us chocolate covered strawberries for this “special” occasion. No? We should have stayed home.
Dinner – In
A romantic, candlelit dinner at home… prepared by me. I can’t wait to spend all night in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. Maybe I can wash a load of your boxers. You have really outdone yourself.
Cash
How romantic. I’m surprised you didn’t give it to me in all ones.
You can’t buy me.
Stuffed Animal
Aww. You shouldn’t have…because I am going to suffocate you with it when you go to sleep.
Lingerie
We both know who this is for. I’ll just keep the bottle of scotch I got you, and we will call it even.
Heart Pendant
Every kiss begins with k. You know what else begins with k? Karma. And it’s a b****.
Flowers, Chocolate, Diamonds AND Champagne
Who is she? What have you done?
See? You really should have gone with nothing.
The views and opinions expressed in this article are not those of the author and do not necessarily reflect her policy or position on Valentine’s Day or the gifts mentioned herein.
